These are real questions from Yahoo Answers with no answers so I'm taking the time to help these poor souls with their questions of immortality and penile dysfunctions. enjoy. The answers are not meant to be taken seriously.

Q: Is there hope for a shy nice guy?

A: NO, you have to be a loud and obnoxious prick for women to pay attention. I know. I'm shy and never even seen a tittie.

Q: Would you ever date someone who had dated your friend ?

A: That depends on how they had sex and how much of it and how attractive the person I would be dating is.

Q: how do you really get over a long distance relationship? What should i do?

A: Swallow a bottle of sleeping pills and have a few (alcoholic) drinks and get some rest.

Q: My boyfriend and I of 8 years have just broke up and I am devastated and taking all the blame, any suggestions

A: same advice for you as above, but before that call me.

Q: How can i spend alone time with my biological kids without hurting my step kids?

A: Well Don't hit your step kids and you won't hurt them. As for the alone time. Just stuff the kids in the closet.

Q: how do you make a first date special ???

A: Not showing up. or showing up naked.

Q: Any ideas for a 6 year old boy's INDOOR birthday party?

A: Burn down the house.

Q: what to do if guy and he likes me but i don't like him back?

A: Start wearing pants and wear sweatshirts. noone will like you, don't worry.

Q: Any cool ideas of what to do for my boyfriend for our four year anniversary?

A: double homicide.

Q:Can I ask you a parenting question?

A: No

Q: okay well, is it best to have your babies close after each other or with a bigger gap between each other?


A: Don't have any at all.